One of the things that I really love about this show is that it’s not geared towards Moms of infants, even though a lot of Maria’s guests deal with newborn and infant issues. This show is about being a Mom in all aspects from time management, to spirituality, to retirement. Each week they have a variety of guests on the air in interviews that are all focused on relevent issues. It’s a great radio show turned into a podcast, and I enjoy listening to it.

I have a great resepect for Maria. Every new thing I learn about her reminds me of how much she’s got on her plate right now, and it really inspires me to do more. (I’m not sure I’ll ever run a Goofy Marathon though). However, I feel that she is constantly reminding both her visitors and her guests that she was a mother of three children under 20 months. While this is an incredible feat, I feel that anyone who listens to the show picks up not only on her pride for surviving this feat, but the fact that she quite frequently mentions it to each of her guests during the same episode. Now, to be fair, she’s gotten a lot better at it than in the earlier episodes, but it’s one of those things that kind of bugs me. I’m not saying that she has no right to brag, but it’s pretty much just that — bragging.

The other thing that bothers me is that her voice is often so much louder then that of her guests. I’m sure this has to do with her being in a professional recordning studio, and her guests are on their telephones. The result is that I have to crank the volume way up to hear her guests so that when she talks it’s really, really loud. It’s just a little technical thing.

All and all though, the show is not to be missed. It follows the traditional radio broadcast, and the guests really are top notch.

You can find the show at:

MomTalkRadio.com

The other day I had a very scary thought. My mother-in-law, who watches my son for me while I work, mentioned something in passing .. and I don’t even remember what it was anymore, but the result was me feeling like the worst mom in the world. She didn’t criticize me, or anything like that; she was just telling me about something she and my baby were going to do later that week. I was left with this horrible feeling of being left out.

I know that many, many women wish they had someone they trust to watch over their children while they work, and that I shouldn’t be saying anything, but it really struck home. I sat there thinking about the time when I saw my son take his first steps. When I mentioned it to her, she said he’d been doing it for a couple of days now, and I was okay with that because when I saw him take that drunken lunge from one foot to the other, it was the his first steps for me.

But when I hear of her planning to take him swimming next week, taking him to have lunch with his cousins, or having playdates with them, the green-eyed monster rages in me. I don’t really think I’ve ever been a jealous person before, and it worries me almost as much as the feeling of missing out on my son’s life. This new job of mine will have a crazy schedule, but part of that means that I’ll have some days free to take him places like the park, or swimming. There won’t be as much overtime, and I’ll probably gain a bunch of weight back because it’s not as physically intensive, but, at least for now, none of that matters as much as being able to take my boy for a walk in the park during the morning if I feel like it.

This morning my baby and I went out for breakfast while his daddy slept (he works midnight shift, which makes all sorts of problems but helps to pay the bills). After that we went to the pet store to pick up some filters for our fish tank and spent nearly an hour cooing at the rabbits. I think that’s been the best morning I’ve had since January because even though we were running errands in the pouring rain, we were together and enjoying the simple things in life. It was revitalizing.

 ~b

 That was my thought not long ago. 9 months of  .. well .. labour and the birth of my beautiful boy should have given me time to figure out what’s next in our lives, but really all that time was spent surviving. We are reliant people, we parents. We have a live unto ourselves and then suddenly (okay, maybe not suddenly) it all changes and nothing’s the same anymore. Our interests change, and things that we once held so dear now seem meaningless. On the flip side, things that we never really gave much time to now have become more precious than gold to us because we know that now it’s going to be even harder now to find time for them. This can leave us feeling overwhelmed, so here’s some tips on how to figure out what you want now, and get back on track.

 Exercises:

1. Making a list of what you want is probably pointless because if you knew what you wanted, then you wouldn’t be in this situation, so instead make a list of things that you know you don’t want. For example, add ‘Poverty’ or ‘Living in a bad neighborhood’ or even ‘Less sleep!’
2. Take some time to de-stress. Everything seems insurmountable when you’re stressed. You might not always feel that you’re doing everything when it comes to dealing with the baby, the household, and even the workplace, but chances are you’re blinded by modesty. You do a lot. Don’t believe me? Take a vacation from your life for a day.This serves two purposes. First of all, it’ll give others more appreciation for exactly what you do in a day. Secondly, it’ll give you time to be you again. Never loose sight of who you are.
3. Make a list of things you want to accomplish in life. Now, break it down by decades, then break it down again so your list is more manageable. The next step in this list is to figure out how to get to every spot on your list. These should be your short term goals, and they should be manageable. Most importantly, keep this list. If you have a reference to keep you on track, it’s a lot easier to stayon track. You also get a sense of accomplishment whenever you get to cross something off your list. This exercises can be done with anything, really, from a to-do list to a grocery list.

Links

• How to Get Everything You Want in Lifeby Pam Houston
• You Have to Know What You Want by Marshall Brown
• What I Want From Life by ‘A Girl Out There Somewhere’

I went in for my last ultra-sound on October 21st. They said my fluid levels were low, and I should do immediatly over to the emergency room and be admitted so they could induce labour. That’s when the real fear set in. I don’t think that in that moment there wasn’t a thing that I wasn’t afraid of. Here was the big moment, and ready or not, he was coming. There was no time for regrets, or anxiety (or breakfast!) because before I knew it, I was flat on my back in an uncomfortable delivery bed with a couple of nuses standing over me telling me that I couldn’t move for the next two hours so that the cervidil would have time to work.

Those were the worst two hours of my life; those were the two hours that I would have cursed my husband from here to there and back again — if I could have managed anything out between the moans of pain. I tried my hardest not to move, but that’s like sitting a pregnant woman in an ultra-sound waiting room for six hours and telling her she can’t go pee. I knew that if I could get up,the pain would be bearable, yet I was terrified that if I moved too much then they’d have to give me another one of those damn things, and I’d be in even worse shape. After an eternity, the nurse came in, and my husband, angel that he is, asked her if I could get up, and to fetch me some painkillers. I have almost never been so grateful in my life.

The rest is pretty much a blur to me as I was nice and drugged — almost giddy when I watched the lines showing the strength and frequency of my contractions. Since I couldn’t feel them, that was the only way that I could even tell I was still having them. I remember during the night waking up when six nurses pushed and pulled me, this way and that as my son’s heart rate dropped during the contractions. At first I had no idea what was going on, but the look on their faces, and the urgency in their voices made me comply without question. As they spoke, I gained a vague idea of what was going on.

They lowered the head of my bed, and raised my feet to the ceiling, I spied an equally terrified blonde head poking through them all, trying to figure out what was going on. My poor husband! I can only imagine how hard it must have been for him to wake to see a gaggle of women manhandling him and ignoring every question he aimed to them. Helplessly he stood back and watched until they got things under control. I really did have an idea as to what was happening, but I couldn’t express it, so I was diplomatic and asked the nurse to explain everything. I don’t think my husband believes me to this day.

Then morning came, and with it the incredible urge to -go-. My bladder was full, but I wasn’t allowed up anymore. They were just about to give me the epidural, and let me tell you something. If you think that waiting in that ultra-sound room is hard, imagine having the nurse behind you asking you to lean over your belly more (you know .. on your -full- bladder) and not to move at all because she was going to stick this very -long- needle in your spine and it would be incredibly painful to have to do it twice. After that they got 900 cc’s out of me through the cathoder. I wasn’t kidding when I told them I felt like I was going to pop.

The birth was also a breeze. I didn’t have time to curse my husband, and it really didn’t hurt all that bad. I did have to get one stich after the fact, but in less than an hour after my son was born, I was up and walking around. The nurse had to persuade me to sit in the wheel chair so she could wheel me down the hall to the recovery room. The hospital food was alright, and I only asked for a small amount of painkillers .. mostly for my back where they yanked that long needle out of. I was a little sore, but that’s about it. I know .. I have no idea how lucky I was, but I’m sure that my next pregnancy will show me the error of my ways.

When we brought my boy home, he was a saint. Almost from the beginning he slept through the night. Now he’s good for 10 hours. He’s always been mild tempered, social, and smiley. He was born with a head of beautiful brown hair, which he’s retained along with his adoring personality.

My confession in all of this though, is that I’m even more scared than ever. I’m scared that I’ve been incredibly spoiled by my son, and my second pregnancy and child will be the complete opposite. I’m scared of post-partom depression, and taking on the monumental task of raising another life when I can barely keep my head above the water for this one. And I’m scared that another life will take more of my time away from my baby. I don’t want him to think I love him any less, or am trying to replace him. Although I don’t have any plans for another babe in the immediate future, I do know that I want one. After all, through such an easy pregnancy, delivery, and infant, how could I not?

To everyone else out there who is scared, just hold on too one little fact: If it was so terrible, why would women decide to have more than one child. That kept me sane more times than I can count, and I can tell you first hand that it’s been worth everything. We live in a world of instant gratification, but this is a lesson to us all that should never be forgotten. The things that take time, effort, tears and pain are far more valuable to us in the end then those which we can gain in a second.

As you can imagine, I was stoked when I first ran across The Creative Mom podcast. I felt that this might help to get be back into the grove of things, and give me that creative edge I’d been looking for. Really, I was hoping for all sorts of insightful ways for a mom to find/make time to indulge her passions. That’s not what I found.

However, I did enjoy what I heard. This podcast aims to inspire with music, host-written articles, and even some exercises for the audience to help them along their own creative paths. The host, Amy Calin (I’m sorry! I know I butchered your last name but I couldn’t find it posted anywhere on your website!) is a perfectionist in her own way, and someone that has managed to not only inspire many others, but her sons as well to be creative people. Every time I hear her mention of her sons and their arts, or their passions, I’m struck by thoughts of how to encourage my 10 month old son to realize his potential.

My only criticism of her show is that it sounds very scripted. She has a very soothing voice; one I could easily be lulled to sleep by were she singing softly, but it seems to lack the passion that I’ve always associated with artists. Her scripted work, while well written, makes me feel like I’m listening to a lecture more than a friend converse. I’d also love to see her have guests speakers on her show, and more tips on how to make time for creativity (such as while the wee ones are napping), and tips on how to encourage your children to be more creative as well. I feel that this would really round out her show nicely.

As I said above, all this criticism can easily be overlooked when given the content of her episodes. I really feel inspired by the music she plays, and although I haven’t actually -done- any of her exercises, they do stir something deep within; something that needs to create. I find images and half-plans just waiting to be expressed itching my fingertips to pick up a brush, or dig out my art supplies.

I give this podcast a four out of five.

Links:

Website/Blog: http://www.creativemompodcast.com/blog/
Subscription: Free. Can be found via iTunes, or through her website.

Listening to them is like listening to a couple of my close friends sit around and gab for an hour about anything from how horrible their day was (usually involving some sort of bodily fluid) or discussing articles from magazines they’d read if they had an extra six hours. Personally I love that section because it helps me to skip all the clutter and find a few articles that I can really enjoy .. saving me all those extra hours. More then that, though, I love this podcast because it doesn’t feel like a radio show, it feels like an hour with my friends. Sometimes their shows are completely unscripted, and other times they’re more focused, but they’re always great.

I give the Manic Mommices a 5 out ot 5.

You can check them out here:

They have a gather group at http://themanicmommies.gather.com/groupInvite.jsp?grpRef=themanicmommies&ref=moms.

They also have a myspace group, but they don’t seem to check that very frquently since I requested to join and I don’t think I’ve recieved an acceptance or denial yet. (I don’t check myspace regularily either.)

 Okay, so what’s the catch. Well, here’s the thing .. there isn’t one. You don’t need to send them money, and it’s not some cheesy pyramid scheme, which is why I’m passing it on to you. From what I gather, the process goes like this:

 Save up $1.00 a day

1. When you have enough, take all that money and stick it in some sort of plan that has compound interest. Mutual funds are quoted here. I’ll have to talk to my financial advisor (hehe .. read get a financial advisor) and see if there’s a safe way to do this. I don’t like risk.
2. Keep adding money, and have dividents go back into the plan
3. Spend like $7500 and you’ll get one million back. Easy, huh?

I don’t have a lot of money. I’ll be frank, but I think I can set aside a dollar a day for my son so when he’s my age, he has some money. Hell, well I’m at it, maybe I’ll set aside some money for myself too. I’d really like to have a million dollar by the time I’m 65, but it’ll take a lot more .. $130 a month as opposed to his $30 so that I can. But, I’ll see what I can do, because .. I -want- a million dollars, don’t you?

 I’ve talked to my spouse about this all in hopes of getting him to set aside a dollar a day for our boy, but he doesn’t see it as vital as I do. His response is: when I’m more financially stable. I don’t really know if such a time exists. It seems to me that despite raises, or getting new jobs with higer pay it really doesn’t make a difference. We just have more bills to pay. We’re not good at saving, so if you are, then good on you. This might be something to check out.

 As for the book, I’m going to add it to my wishlist.

 I’ll let you know what comes of all of this.